Yesterday morning I looked at my to do list for this week and frowned. Tired still, from a night with a lot of feedings and far and few sleep in between, I felt slightly overwhelmed. Why was it, that all the things on my list - photography projects, blog posts, coffee dates, baby wearing ballet, decluttering projects, hair appointment.... - that were put on that list by me & typically considered fun by me, were now making me feel uneasy? Slightly paralyzed even!
Well, it all comes down to a four letter word: T I M E.
Unfortunately, there is only so much time in one day. So I'm spending my days with this big grey storm cloud above my head that says "you won't get it all done", "you still need to do this" & "you don't have enough time". And it is really stressing me out.
Do you know this feeling? You rush from one task to the next and in the evening you will feel very tired, even though all the things you accomplished don't truly seem to matter in a grander scheme of things.
Luckily, just in time I remembered a quote, that I had recently read in a magazine and had wanted to put on my inspiration board (but I guess I never had enough time to do so - ha!). It goes something like this:
I find the truth of this quote so powerful! I have spent all this time working out how to minimize our possessions, from my shoe collection to Smilla's toy bin, but had forgotten to declutter the most important thing: my planner!
So here is my new take on "T I M E":
I might not always be available in the future. But if I am, I will give you my undivided attention. You do matter to me and I will get back to you eventually.
I will work on being "present" in each task that I try to accomplish. From writing, to reading to my daughter, ...to folding undies. I will try to still my mind and not think about the task ahead, as I'm working on another (this will take constant reminding at first!).
I will not feel bad about myself if I don't finish a blog post on time, schedule another photo session, or have to delay other creative projects. I will not feel guilty, if the kitchen remains dirty for a night, because I was wrapped up playing with my family.
And most importantly: I will enjoy every fleeing minute with my daughter. She grows up so fast. I will give her the greatest gift I can give her - my time.
So excuse me, if I get off the computer now. But I have a really important story to read to Smilla.
ps: If you are reading this, you have shared your time with me today. I am very thankful! I appreciate every comment and like - nothing on here goes unnoticed.